But did you know that there is something even more troublesome that has now been added to the doomsday list of indecorous incivility to the suzerainty of sustainability?And while some of you might be surprised by the choice, there are those who are quite adamant about the topic. You see, according to certain defenders of our planet, among the biggest threats to the environmental integrity of this world is, you got it, children.
On the always fascinating New Geography site there is an article that exposes the great danger that children represent to our planet. Or at least they talk about some folks that believe they do. Here are a couple of pointed passages:
"Little Monsters"? Children And The Environment - The idea has bubbled around the edges of the environmental pond for a while: choosing to be childfree expressly for the purpose of reducing one's carbon footprint. An environmental correspondent at Mother Jones, for example, has pointed out that "... Nothing else you can do -- driving a more fuel efficient car, driving less, installing energy efficient windows, replacing light bulbs, replacing refrigerators, recycling -- comes even close to simply not having a child... Why are we pretending that because they're cute they're harmless? Little monsters.
Certainly it is not just children that need to be prevented in order to save the world. There are also those who believe big people are just as bad, and should be encouraged to depart this veil of tears just as quickly as humanly possible.
A Planet Green channel segment on the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, the organization that offers voluntary human extinction as "a solution to involuntary human extinction" (slogan: "May we live long and die out"), cites the group's 4,000 Facebook friends.
Of course, when you consider that the ones most likely to make that kind sacrifice in order to save Mother Earth are these kinds of green people, you can see how this solution could threaten the sustainability of their movement.
But back to the "kids are pollution" meme. Here is another interesting line from the New Geography article that furthers this idea.
Attention a couple of years back focused on Australia, where the issue of a tax on greenhouse gas emitting newborns was raised.
Fascinating. Could this be yet another new fee for City Hall to consider?
You can see that we have some interesting food for thought to present to Sierra Madre's soon to be finalized Green Committee. Certainly they will be called upon by Green leaning Councilmembers to supply ideas that will help to promote our blessed little corner of Los Angeles County as a truly sustainability friendly place. And maybe their first initiative could be finding a way to help create awareness of that true threat to our planet's survival, children?
In the spirit of promoting sound ideas regarding our world's salvation, here are five suggestions that our new Green Committee might wish to consider.
1) Birth Control - Every Friday and Saturday night members of the Green Committee could distribute "sustainability balloons" at both The Buc and Lucky Baldwin's Delerium. Alcohol consumption is a leading cause of greenhouse gas producing babies, and this could guarantee an end to a form of carelessness that threatens us all.
2) Candy Ban - The candy sections in The Bottle Shop, Happy's, and Highland Liquor are an attraction to something a green Sierra Madre should no longer condone. Why encourage kids to hang out here when they could be doing their sugar consumption in other towns less cognizant of the danger they represent than ours?
3) Bulldoze Schools - If there is one thing that attracts ecology threatening baby breeders to Sierra Madre, it is schools. And with places like Bethany, St. Rita's, Sierra Madre Elementary, The Gooden, and Alverno, we have those things in spades. Get rid of the schools and you'll get rid of the parents cursing us with their polluting kids. And once those schools are gone? We'll be able to turn those sites into such socially conscious things as Transit Oriented Development and housing for the homeless.
4) Anti Four Seat Car Ordinance - In a Green Sierra Madre we would never want to see automobiles that seat more than two adults. Miatas are fine, as are vintage MGs. But vans, station wagons, and 4 door sedans have simply got to go. If people can't transport their children here, they just won't want to live here. Ticket them and ticket them often!
5) Neutering Young Adults - You have often heard that one of the kindest things you can do for your pets is to have them spayed. It prevents strays and keeps the animal population down to manageable levels. So why not provide a similar service to that segment of our community most likely to contribute to greenhouse gas production through the creation of infants? Maybe volunteers could help raise money to incentivize young adults to consider this option? Video games might be a suitable reward for those making the right choice for a sustainable future.
I hope this helps the Green Committee to make the right, and sustainable, choices for our community and its future. And there still is a final unfilled spot on that committee, you know. Perhaps you, the gentle reader, armed with the ideas we've put forth here, might want to apply. I have no doubt that the current City Council would appreciate so bold a vision.