Friday, June 15, 2012

The Cow Thief!


smpd-cow-bulletin.jpg

48 comments:

  1. "Not for Public Distribution"? It's on LAist, the Tattler, Coburn's net thing - surely AOL has got it. Not for public distribution?

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  2. Thieves are rotten people.

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    1. True, but without them what would locksmiths do?

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    2. I'll send my posse!

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  3. "The suspects were at a nearby bar." Lucky Baldwins? Close down the honky tonks!

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    1. And nobody else in there, waiting on them and/or drinking with them at midnight, knows who they are?

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    2. Detective Gray needs to interview the barmaids.

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  4. It says the flyer was prepared by Officer Amos. How come it doesn't have a target?

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  5. Maybe, just this once, they'll catch the thief.

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    1. Hope so. And I also hope it's treated as a crime of stealing a sculpture - putting aside all the cutesy stuff about a cow. It's a work of art that someone invested in to improve business.

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  6. Isn't that the Green Committee?

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    1. Nope, none of them are that young or that thin!

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  7. Maybe they are some of those people who first came here with the gourmet food trucks.

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  8. It my be my old eyes, but couldn't they have blown up the picture any bigger? It would be an udder disaster if they can't find the thieves.

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    1. You're right. It is a pretty cheesy flyer.

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  9. Patch doesn't have any pictures up. Maybe they're Patch employees.

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  10. I think it was beer that caused her to commit this shameful act.

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    1. Obviously, the offender is suffering from "mad cow" desease, either that or she was too drunk to notice said cow was not her dog.

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    2. Attention Cattle Rustlers:
      Return that cow or face merciless goofing on this board!
      You don't want to be put in the same catagory as the three dirts on the city council or the fugitive Joe Mosca!

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    3. There's a herd mentality on this board.

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    4. I agree. It's a stampede to justice if you ask me.

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  11. "It's Always Something, Isn't It?"

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  12. My understanding is her parents wouldn't let her have a pony. So she got a little cow instead.

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  13. I recognize her! She's white with black spots! I have no idea who the girl is, tho.

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    1. RED ALERT!!!! Quick...get a search warrant for all the realtor offices!!!!!

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  14. Back in the time of Lucky Baldwin a little frontier justice would have been the order of the day ... none of this "for law enforcement only" stuff. Lucky would have had every able bodied man deputized by now.

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    1. Would you call the perpretraitor a "moocher?"

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  15. I was just downtown and there were 3 different news trucks in front of Mother Moos. I guess it is bad she lost her cow, but it looks like she is about to get a couple million dollars worth of free publicity on tonight's news. You think this might have been a Chamber of Commerce stunt?

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    1. Great. The City flat out lies to us about a water rate hike and did we see news trucks then? Of course not. Somebody rips off a beagle sized plastic cow from in front of an ice cream shop and it's like God once again walks on earth. It's no wonder this state has fallen apart.

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    2. America has a schizoid relationship with cows. Cows are funny, cute, named Bessie and Molly, drawn with tennies on, bows on ears, and then killed with a blow that smashes their skulls, unless the brains and tongue are going to be harvested. Of course there are news trucks - they've come to make jokes, show pictures of cows (not at the slaughterhouse - no, not those pictures) and have a combo crime report/light comedy bit for TV land.

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  16. down with the mother moo manJune 15, 2012 at 8:08 PM

    The woman is a hero - dare i say a modern day robin hood. Mother moo is waaay too costly, catering solely to the rich in their federally subsidized volts who can stuff their fat, out of shape faces with pure ice cream. The kids and i - lean from ceaseless exercise - can only afford beantown and its good old fashioned (preservative packed) ice cream. We rejoice that the crass, venal sales tool mother moo has used to sucker fat lefties into buying "green" cream has been stolen.

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    1. Love it! You tell them DWTMMM! LOL

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  17. The last time a small replica cow got this much attention Moses got very angry.

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    1. Maybe they're pagans.

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    2. Everybody's Pagans.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAE3dt8-HUU

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  18. By the way officer sherlock berry, what evidence do you have to show this samaritan has committed a crime. It looks to me as though she is merely comforting a lost, plastic bovine. How it came into her momentary possession one can only guess. Perhaps you should go back to figuring ou how that poor guy sleeping off a buc buzz in the back of his murano got capped by a gangsta'. I mean fine officer of smpd.

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  19. We have a smpd "detective bureau"?

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    1. It is one part timer. Retired from somewhere else. As far as I can tell he hasn't solved anything yet. I fear we may never see Mother Moo's cow again.

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  20. I hope those drunks didn't do anything bad to that poor little cow when they got it home.

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  21. Breaking News: We heard that this cow theft may be part of Buxton's branding of Sierra Madre's Retail Area. That $30,000 we spent on a market study is starting to pay off!

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  22. Do you have any photos of the thief who sawed the catalytic converter off my vehicle one night a few weeks back while it was parked at a well-lighted section of SM Blvd?

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  23. I don't recall the TV news trucks showing up in Sierra Madre when Bob Matheson returned to town.

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  24. I was just downtown. There were about 50 people in Kersting Court, mostly men, with torches and a rope. Apparently they're taking justice into their own hands. It is getting ugly.

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    1. We can't have a crazed moolester on the loose....

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  25. The flier was prepared by Officer Amos. I gotta hand it to SMPD, we all know officer Amos is a loose cannon, and shot an innocent sleeping man in the back(Why that never made the news I'll never know), at least they have him working at a desk on photoshop, very few officers have shot innocent citizens while at a desk, Bravo SMPD! Thanks for keeping us safe from Amos in spite of the CPOA and the law suits that keep bad cops on the job.

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    1. Good thing Amos didn't see that woman with the cow. She'd be swiss cheese by now.

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  26. Hey, where was the flier for Matheson when he returned to this town????! Shows you what your police are good for, anyway, and why they sure don't need a raise for all of this herd, I mean hard, work that they do...

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