Sunday, July 1, 2012

The Tattler Covers An Important Issue In This Year's Presidential Election

Ordinarily we do not cover national politics here. Those sorts of things gets plenty of coverage everywhere else, and if that is what you're looking for then you probably should go buy a daily newspaper, or settle down in front of your favorite 24/7 cable news network and watch a bunch of completely ridiculous people yell at each other for endless hours, day after contentious day.

Which is kind of like what you can also get at home. And if you watch that stuff long enough you could come to think of those folks as family, except you can turn them off. Family is far more immediate news, and therefore doesn't have an "off" button.

We do have a theory about presidential politics, you know. That being it isn't real. Remember years ago when there were people running around who claimed that the United States never sent men to the moon? Rather it was all filmed on a studio soundstage somewhere, and that Buzz Aldren and those other guys were all just actors jumping around on an otherworldly, and very dusty, movie set? Well, that's what presidential politics is all about. It's all done with actors, and the stuff is scripted, staged and then put on TV to distract you from the really important stuff, which is Sierra Madre politics. All of which is filmed at City Hall on alternating Tuesdays, and then shown on SMTV3 for as many times as you may like.

However, we are breaking with our rule on national politics today because it is Sunday, which means fewer people are reading this site. I really don't want to burn out any of the more important news on a day when many folks are off doing other things. I'd rather use that stuff for when people are back at their jobs reading things on the internet rather than working. I am not certain if you are aware of this, but The Tattler is a leading local government productivity killer. Which is a good thing if you think about it. They can't really do much damage when they're reading this blog, and then getting kinda depressed about what it is they've done with their lives.

But I digress. Here is today's news item. It comes from PR Newswire, which is a division of United Business Media. You can access this information in its native USA Today habitat by pointing your cursor here and clicking.

Two-Thirds Of Americans Think Barack Obama Is Better Suited to Handle an Alien Invasion Than Mitt Romney

WASHINGTON - According to a new U.S. extraterrestrial survey from the National Geographic Channel (NGC), more than 80 million Americans are certain UFOs exist. In fact, many believe in tangible proof that aliens have landed on Earth and think that government officials are involved in covering up paranormal activities. Moreover, most citizens would not mind a minor alien invasion, because they expect these space-age visitors to be friendly - like the lovable character depicted in Steven Spielberg's popular film "E.T."

Survey results also reveal that more than one-third (36%) of Americans believe UFOs exist. More than one in ten (11%) are confident that they have spotted a UFO, and in five (20%) know someone who claims to have seen one.

Despite the popularity of "Avengers" and "Twilight," more than seven in 10 (71%) Americans think that aliens are more likely to exist than superheroes, vampires and zombies. Furthermore, if aliens attacked our planet, more than one in five (21%) would most likely call on the Hulk to deal with the havoc. Far fewer would most trust Batman (12%) or Spiderman (8%) to step in.

In regards to national security, nearly two-thirds (65%) of Americans think Barack Obama would be better suited than fellow presidential candidate Mitt Romney to handle an alien invasion. In fact, more than two in three (68%) of women say that Obama would be more adept at dealing with an alien invasion than Romney, vs. 61 percent of men. And more younger citizens, ages 18 to 64 years, than those aged 65+ (68% vs. 50%) think Romney would not be as well-suited as Obama to handle an alien invasion.

So there you go. A couple of criticisms about this survey. One is that those doing the polling did not ask the most obvious question of all, that being which candidate do you believe is more likely to be an actual space alien. Something that could breathe new life into the birther question.

And once again third party candidates have been excluded. I suspect that had Libertarian Party candidate Gary Johnson been included his percentages would have been surprisingly high. Certainly he would be considered the candidate most likely to incorporate alien visitors into the U.S. economy, and with the minimum amount of government regulation or interference. Thereby taking more meaningful advantage of exciting alien technologies that would not only create new jobs here on Earth, but also exponentially increase economic growth.

Enjoy your Sunday.

http://sierramadretattler.blogspot.com

57 comments:

  1. UFOs are real.

    Sammy Hagar and Anne Heche have actually been abducted by aliens.

    And in our very own town Carol Canterberry continues to conduct intelligence virtually unmolested in advance of an alien invasion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I happen to know that on most planets the tricycle is the chief form of transportation. A word to the wise.

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    2. I have seen Carol's pedicab flying high above the foothills.

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    3. Can you imagine the advanced science it takes to get that rig off the ground!

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    4. Do space aliens forgo the services of Realtors(R) and attempt to sell their homes themselves? That would make them a real threat.

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    5. 8:12, the first one. I think it is done with hot air.

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    6. so it is "bad" when people leave their cars at home and choose to ride a bike, just wondering, do you all ride bikes or walk in town
      ....doesn't seem to hurt anyone, no fumes, no parking space hogs

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    7. No, it's OK. You can ride your bicycle.

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  2. You will notice that in the picture the alien invaders are attacking single family homes. Apparently their agenda is similar to that of Darrell Steinberg and Sierra Madre's Green Committee.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does insurance cover that?

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  3. ...waiting for someone to insert immigration joke...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good point. Obviously they are not here legally. Would Obama grant them amnesty? Or will their kids be allowed to attend college here?

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  4. Can Josh Moran be an alien? He did live in Monrovia.

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  5. Invasion is RealJuly 1, 2012 at 7:59 AM

    Those who were here and can remember the Pods were never fully disposed of. They have been repackaged and on occasion you can see a container of them sitting around the neighborhood in white with Red lettering. As their disguised as storage containers we don't think anything about it but it is real. If you will remember where you saw the Pod container and notice how the neighborhood has changed in those locations you will be able to see the truth. Were talking old friends and neighbors who were for preserving our community and now they are for this ridicules green committee that they want to make a commission. The same old friends are voting in obvious high density supporters and very few are really seeing the truth. Think about it, think of the people around town who are pretending this is not happening. Sierra Madre is a training ground for sending out Pod produced humans to go to other countries to infiltrate them, "remember Bossypants and spouse." Again the Tattler has uncovered another act against our peaceful little town that we need to be aware of. Proof being when you see a new roof going in it is really a camouflaged deflector to protect a sleeping family from being brain washed. Now on the other hand some Pod brained men are actually changing their roof to be receivers and are transmitting this information around the community disguised as an Emergency Radio Station, oh I hope we are not too late to save Sierra Madre from this invasion.

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  6. If you call them undocumented visitors, then there is nothing to "handle," you just adapt to their lifestyle. How's the high school graduation rate look to you, taxpayer?

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  7. According to the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking. "If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn't turn out well for the Native Americans,"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait! Let's get Harabedian's opinion on this! He's the expert on Columbus.

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  8. The pod people may be distinguished by their "you're overreacting" remarks during any Sierra Madre political debate.

    Other characteristics include use of the term "ideologue" or hosting a local "radio show".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've seen their signs. They're green and have pictures of trees.

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  9. Anyone who uses the word "green" with a straight-face is an alien. Simple as that.

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  10. The high school graduation rates mean nothing unless you see it in it's entirety. Look at the Who's Who of the facts. Please don't publish those results. Remember, humans are traveling around the world now more than ever and and are bringing their country's ways with them but some of us really like our neighborhoods the way they are with the laws and rules that we have and have been happy with. When outside influences are trying to change our community every one should be able to read about it in it's entirety.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, the tyranny of the majority...

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    2. Nah, just the crooks who run the PUSD.

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  11. "Take me to your Professor."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Take me to your toilet paper."

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    2. Take me to your Buxton Market Demand Survey.

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  12. The Classic FilmsJuly 1, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    Too bad the Marx Bros aren't alive for this one. HYSTERICAL!!!
    A NIGHT IN THE FOOTHILLS

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  13. How come Radio Fishbowl didn't re-air Gene Goss's "Village Idiot" interview with Mayor Morango yesterday as scheduled? They ran a repeat of Rich Johnson's show instead?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hear a dog ate the digital information.

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    2. Someone tattled..

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    3. They're replaying the Carol Canterbury episode for the second time in a row. I've switched to iTunes Radio. Much safer.

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    4. I'm thinking maybe James realized what a mistake it was to put that goofball on. Maybe I'll go back and try again if it's true he took Moran off. I believe in free speech, but not slander free speech.

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    5. Sad to think that our Mayor can't be trusted near a radio microphone.

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    6. Or a Council Chamber microphone.

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  14. 9:20 you are so right. Unfortunately the majority is lead by the lies in the printed word, YES, the pen is mightier than the sword and it hurts far more people. Let the majority know the truth.

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  15. What if the space aliens are Peace and Freedom?

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  16. 11:41,,, I would be very suspicious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Judging by the picture I'd say they're from Sacramento.

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  17. Conspiracy theory comedy

    Rosie O'Donnell on the View:

    In regards to 9/11....Rosie opines "everyone knows steel doesn't melt"
    to the applause of the idiot audience who watch that show.....repeated by several other idiot talking heads on TV...."everyone knows steel doesn't melt"
    How do they think they make rail road tracks? Didn't they ever read about how they melt steel in school?
    My point here is: why would any advanced civilization wish to visit the planet Earth? Everyone knows the EARTH is the REHAB UNIT of the universe?
    LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe they're afraid we'll escape and infect the universe.

      Delete
  18. It seems pretty obvious that space alien is the candidate who believes wearing certain undergarments will help get him to or near the planet Kolob.

    Clarification to the birthers out there: Kenya, Indonesia, and Hawaii are not other planets.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Clarification to the not insignificant percentage of birthers who polls show believe that one candidate was not born in the US because he was born in Hawaii: Hawaii is ... Oh, never mind. Enjoy your day!

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    2. Note to Tea Partiers: The space alien candidate's beliefs prohibit the use of tea.

      Can you support a candidate who rejects a substance on which you base the name of your movement? Put down that iced tea (and that Arnold Palmer) and think about!

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    3. Do you have to be born on Planet Earth to be a US President?

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    4. Note to the idiot @ 1:50 - TEA = Taxed Enough Already

      Now you can go back to the Buc and gulp down another drink while all of us producers out there pay for your sciroccos of the liver with Obamacare.

      Delete
    5. I had siroccos of the liver once. But it has more to do with baked beans than liquor.

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    6. Isn't the definition of scirocco a hot wind?

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    7. Yes. Sierra Madre has been prey to siroccos over the years, usually on alternating Tuesday evenings. They are also known as the Santa Buchanans.

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    8. You're right Sciroccos is what you get listening to the windbags on the City Council, cirrhosis is what you get if you patronize the Buc, or blog on the tattler about any political party.

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    9. Does anybody know why they call the wind Mariah?

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  19. This is the best comedy show ever. Thanks Crawford.

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  20. Councilman John Capoccia is scheduled to be the guest on the next edition of Village Intersections. John is a class act. We won't see a repeat of the Mayor's shameful blatherings.

    And a note to one and all - Goss and Canterbury will co-host the running commentary of the 4th of July Parade from Prudential Real Estate on Sierra Madre Blvd. If there was any question of which side Goss comes down on, I believe we have an answer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So the Prudential now owns our 4th of July parade?

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    2. A new word for wind. Gusterbury.

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  21. Just heard....The SGVCOG received a grant to study the alien issue here in the Valley. They have formed a committee, a sub-committee, an ad hoc committee and three working groups. They will be meeting when they want, have all meetings catered and keeping no records of what occurs during the meetings.

    A photographer will be hired to take pictures, a former editor of the Tribune will be hired to shape press coverage and all records will be stored offsite at an undisclosed location.

    Lastly, the Governing Board will be proposing that membership endorse a new county wide property tax assessment to address the increased expense associated with the alien issue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nancy Walsh has been appointed Sierra Madre liaison to the SGVCOG Committee promising to issue updates of no particular significance.

      Delete