Thursday, December 6, 2012

Tony Brandenburg: Andrea Alarcon, Party Girl

1. Dude, where’s my daughter?

Party girl Andrea Alarcon has taken a leave of absence from her cushy $130,000 a year Public Works job for the City of Los Angeles. She was appointed to the top committee position (President) on the Board of Public Works by Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa in 2009 (click here). The previous position she held, on the Board of Transportation Commissioners, was also an appointment made by Villaraigosa in 2006. The Los Angeles Board of Public Works is the only non-elected full-time policy making body (click here) and Andrea , “an avid activist in public works,” spends her days as Liaison Commissioner for the Bureau of Sanitation.

You go, girl.

Apparently Ms. Alarcon forgot that she had her 11 year old daughter in tow over at Los Angeles City Hall on the night of November 16th. Mama Sanitation Liaison was attending a ceremony sponsored by preservationist/ architectural group Project Restore (click here) just prior to allegedly taking off for some good times. She decided to return to her just mama duties when she was contacted, or located, or whatever you want to call it, at about 2 AM. The bars must have closed a little early that particular Friday night.

Earlier that evening those pesky police had taken the eleven year-old Alarcon child into protective custody when they found the younger Alarcon wandering around city hall at 11:45 PM unattended. Since that evening’s event honoring Villaraigosa - who also happens to serve on the Project Restore Board of Directors and had, technically,  just given himself an award (click here) - had ended at 9:30 - more than two hours earlier - just where was Andrea? Well, not taking care of her child, apparently. According to the Daily News (click here):

At some point in the evening, Alarcón and guests from the party ended up at the DoubleTree Hotel, according to City Hall sources with direct knowledge of the event. Sources say the small group at the hotel included Lorraine Green, who works as an administrative assistant to Villaraigosa. The DoubleTree, formerly known as the Kyoto Grand Hotel and Gardens, on Los Angeles Street, is two blocks away from City Hall. According to sources, Green had rented a hotel room at the DoubleTree so she didn't have to drive home. It's unclear whether the group was celebrating at the bar at the DoubleTree or in Green's hotel room, or both places.

The one-hundred-thirty-thousand dollar question, “Where was party mom?” has resulted in a little work break for poor Andrea.

Man of Solid Character, Antonio Villaraigosa, said he sees no reason for Andrea Alarcon to resign from her appointed position.

Well, of course not. Villaraigosa himself saw no reason to resign when he hooked up with Mirthala Salinas (click here), the first of two newscasters he shacked up with (click here), nor did he think it was necessary to return to his pre-marital name (Antonio Villar) after cuckolding his wife Corina Raigosa (click here) because, after all, the name has a certain delicious aural quality. Say it aloud. It rolls off of the tongue. Why ditch the name it took so many years to build up,  and especially one that sounds so delightful?

Yes, yes. Antonio Casanova Villaraigosa does seem to have a thing for newscasters, doesn’t he? Well, sure. Being interviewed certainly does something for the male ego; it is a no-holds barred self congratulatory bragging session. The good times with biographers and interviewers is certainly not unique to ole’ Antonio (click here) and I wonder what TV time is like at Casa de Villaraigosa. Apparently the Party Commander wasn’t at the Double Tree  Hotel that night. Those good times are reserved for Administrative Assistants and Commissioners.

2. Tony Brandenburg, Los Angeles City Remote Controller (a proposal)

I won’t deny it’s my secret wish that I, an avid television junkie, could get in at the floor level for one of those super cool TV meetings that must be going down at the mayor’s city owned, and taxpayer funded mayoral spread at the Getty Party Estates. In fact, I think there could be a solid waste place for me in the Los Angeles Machina.

I suggest the city create - and I appoint myself to -  the prestigious, newly designed, taxpayer funded position of Los Angeles City Remote Controller. You can count on me; I’m reliable, as loyal as a bulldog, as sly as a fox, as clean as a pig, and at home I am already Kingpin Remote Controller. Since Mr. Villaraigosa clearly seems to love appointing people who lose things, I personally believe it is a perfect fit because I lose stuff all the time. In fact, I can help our chick magnet Mr. Mayor lose the call back numbers when he gets in too deep with the ladies, and I can help him lose the numbers of all of his temporary neighbors in Hancock Park. See, when they figure out how much he loves the environmental and progressive social values, and how that is consistent with running a train line right under their posh homes, I expect the phone will be ringing off the hook. Bring it on, Purple Line, there is no one at this number!

So. No way should Andrea go. As self appointed Los Angeles City Remote Controller, I decree that Andrea certainly earned her appointed roles, both of them, ask Antonio. He doesn’t want to let her go because, no doubt, she does a smashing job as the Liaison Commissioner to Public Sanitation. Yes, Los Angeles City Hall needs Andrea Alarcon because she keeps the toilets flushing. Every council member, including her daddy the councilman, her pal the mayor, and her mommy the Police Commissioner, have to appreciate that. Heck, even I appreciate that. If someone plugs it up, Andrea is right there to demand accountability, and toilet restructuring, if need be. Heads could roll!

Two potty puns in a three word exclamatory sentence. I am clearly the product of Orwellian Newspeak. Every Remote Controller worth their salt has to be.

Well, that pooper problem will be solved as long as our Villaraigosa appointed heroine doesn’t get  herself lost on an after party bender. Oooops, I mean allegedly. I would suggest she hire a couple of handlers, one for herself, and a second for the child she forgot about, and get on with the good times. That would be my recommendation as Tony Brandenburg, Los Angeles City Remote Controller.

3. Dude, where’s my house?

So, back to the specifics of our frau of loss, Ms. Andrea “Has anyone seen my daughter” Alarcon. Even our beloved appointee Andrea herself  is the lost daughter of ...... quickly, quickly .......  City Councilman Richard Alarcon (click here) and ex-wife and current Los Angeles Police Commissioner Corina Alarcon. Nepotism? Nah....... Maybe Grandma Commissioner picked up wandering child and for got to let party girl know. An effective Remote Controller would plant that in the public image garden right away. It is quickly becoming apparent why I am perfect for this job.

Like a good dad, Richard Alarcon has quickly defended his daughter’s good name as a single mother- tell me that word wasn’t a plant, and not an effective one - and, uh, he also defended her on her job performance. What one has to do with the other is anyone’s guess, but it certainly seems to me that by the tenth year into the mommy gig, Andrea should have been able to remember to locate her single most important dependent, even if she had lost track of her that night in November at her big city job locale which she has only worked at for, uh, five or so years. Go figure.

See, an effective City Remote Controller simply explains, “Hey, drinking is part of most political mixers, either before, during, or after. As part of the social aspect of her job, she had to do it. The problem isn’t the drinking and forgetting about her kid, the problem is that Andrea is, to be perfectly frank, just too good at her job.” That is why she needs a handler or two.

See, Andrea Alarcon, party girl, had also, I assume, forgotten that her daughter was in the car one night back in December, 2011, when she was arrested for driving under the influence and child endangerment. Obviously she also had forgotten she had been drinking. Ooopsie daisy, I see a pattern (click here). As the newly self appointed Los Angeles City Remote Controller, I suggest that now is as good a time as any to check oneself into rehab, especially since our Sanitation Liaison has insurance. And as long as daddy and Uncle Antonio can keep on blowing smoke, no one will challenge Andrea’s  qualifications for that nice chunk of change and medical insurance coverage. The city of Los Angeles wouldn’t leave an employee without a kick-ass medical plan, no-no-no (click here) and we can count on a substitute Liaison to sit belly up at the bar and to keep the toilets flushing.

As self appointed Los Angeles City Remote Controller, I also wish to challenge - no, to urge - the “tax us some more to fund transportation we don’t use or want” citizens of Los Angeles to extend that same “give until it hurts” love to fallen Disney star Lindsay Lohan. Poor Lindsay seems to forget a lot of stuff, too, even after those mean judges remind her. I eagerly anticipate the future Lindsay/Andrea breakout for a coke and twinkie. I also propose the new “12 Steps to Flushing” program for the recovery. It’s eco-friendly, and organic, too.

So. It certainly seems to me that  a bit of memory loss has hit the entire Alarcon family pretty hard, except for maybe the wandering child who most likely didn’t realize she was lost in the first place. Alas, for the poor Alarcons, however, either dementia or a little bit too much of the old nipsey has seeped into the brain-freeze mix because, even poor step-grandma and grandpa Alarcon, seem to have forgotten where they actually live:

Councilman Alarcón and his wife, Flores Montes de Oca are currently awaiting trial on perjury and voter fraud charges for allegedly living outside the 7th Council District boundaries, and lying about it (click here).

No problem. Naturally, that messy redistricting stuff that has so confused Grandpa Alarcon has also affected other cities as well (click here), but the city council of Los Angeles had approved it despite threats of a lawsuit that was promised beforehand, and then was, of course, filed in August by residents in Koreatown (click here).

An effective Los Angeles City Remote Controller, such as myself, would just hire a couple of drivers, one for party girl Andrea, and one to help return the Alarcon elders to their correct address. I am very effective like that. She’ll never need to hire another taxi to take her at 2 AM to the police station again (click here) and you’ll never have to fret none about your daughter spilling juicy party details without a remote controller filtering it first - ever, ever again. I’m the guy, I swear, Casanova Tony V. All you have to do is put me in charge of the on/off button and the volume control.

Ah yes, one day we will look back on all of the good times that were brought on by redistricting.  Maybe I’ll meet you at the (Pour Me a Double) Tree Hotel. Oh yeah, before I forget, November was Child Protection and Safety Month. I guess Andrea didn’t get the memo.

Bonus Coverage from the Star News - Pasadena Unified axes construction contracts, places administrator, consultant on leave in Measure TT billing probe (click here): More school construction bond money flushed down the tubes. What a surprise! Bart's right, we should vote for another bond issue. How about this coming March? The Mountain Views News says we're already voting then.

http://sierramadretattler.blogspot.com

68 comments:

  1. When you think of the struggles of the Alarcon family, it makes the defeat of Measure R seem all the more cruel.

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    1. What do you mean 6:44?

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    2. I think the ingratitude of the voters regarding the achievements of the Villaraigosa administration drove this sensitive single mom to desperate behavior.

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  2. i'm already tinkering with the PUSD Star News article....... oh what a tangled we we weave.......

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    1. It's pretty amazing stuff. You can't help but feeling the PUSD guys can't quite differentiate their elbows from their behinds.

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    2. The PUSD Superintendent is on leave - I heard medical issues. Brian MacDonald has stepped in during his absence.

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    3. Medical leave? Insanity perhaps? Or can it be something big and bad is going to happen, and he doesn't want to be around when it does.

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    4. No, he's really sick. Imagine the stress of having to handle the crew he's leading....and having the likes of the Honowitz machine breathing down his neck.

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    5. PUSD is going to implode if they don't clean house soon.

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    6. PUSD Board Member, Tom Selinske, has ties to Seville Construction Services. They donated $1000 to his campaign. Right alongside the LA County Building and Construction Trade Council PAC ($500), California Teamsters Local (a whopping $9,999), Plumbers and Steamfitters PAC ($250), California Laborers for Equality and Progress ($1,000), and Pankow Builders ($300).

      We even have our very own hometown developer, John Hutt, who donated to Selinske's campaign, and our most famous central planner - Bart Doyle, as well.

      Oh, I almost forgot to mention that Communist Peter Dreir's group, ACT, also donated $2,000 to his campaign.

      We won't have a say when/if Selinske runs again due to sub-geographic districts. But that doesn't mean we can't campaign AGAINST him in his own back yard in 2015. Or better yet, let's identify a good candidate of our own to run in that district!

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  3. Vote NO on everything. They'll only steal it.

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  4. And you still believe the Democratic Party Machine is not rife with corruption?....

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    1. Not to(Me) Worry, the Democratic Oligarchy will find more corruptable candidates to play with your tax money, besides how can you fault them, they are just rambunctous kids out on the town.

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  5. Ai yi yi.
    Thanks for this, Tony. Hope it gets wide circulation and all these characters end up out of government.

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  6. Hey be nice to "tony the fixer". He's been angling lately to be named theSecretary of Transportation in the next Obama administration. With Tony Villar in D.C. And Chris Holden, named majority whip on his first day, in Sacramento, I think I see a tunnel in our future. A tunnel with no light at the end of it.

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    1. Chris Holden is a Prince in the Hahn political machine. He could hardly be expected to start on the back bench.

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    2. Looks like Andrea is now ready for her Assembly run. Will there be an Oprah appearance?

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    3. All will be forgiven when the next election cycle begins, the electorate dosnot pay attention anyway.

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    4. Stupid electorate = stupid government. $130,000 a year for a dumb bunny who ditches her kid to go get drunk.

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    5. Buxton Market Demand Study anyone?

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  7. Good to see that Antonio Villaraigosa has brought family values back into government.

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  8. "According to sources, Green had rented a hotel room at the DoubleTree so she didn't have to drive home."
    Huh?
    1) On her own dime, yeah?
    2) Where does she live? San Diego?
    3) Planning like an alcoholic.

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  9. This issue is simply a symptom of the bigger problem taxpayers are facing here in California - public officials who are using their positions to enrich themselves instead of representing our interests.

    You have entire families living off our tax dollars as in this case, you have community college superintendents being paid more than the Chief Justice of the United States, Transportation agency directors making more than the President of the United States and so on.

    Yeah it is ok to vent, we are getting screwed. But it is time for each and everyone to get involved. Go to meetings, educate yourself on the issues, speak out, get involved in the campaigns of candidates with integrity and if you feel you can bring meaningful leadership and representation to your fellow citizens - run for office.

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    1. Good post 8:45, but I am afraid it's hopeless for California.
      Look at the way people voted here in the recent election!
      Most Democrat politicians are evil and the few that aren't are afraid to speak out. Most Republican politicians are naive or stupid.
      They are all making money off of the taxpayers, and the sad thing is that over 50% of the voters are just plain selfish and more than that DUMB!!!!!!!

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  10. i think i have it. tony the FIXER needs to offer tony b, REMOTE CONTROLLER a second cushy city job- as tony the MIXER. tony the MIXER will make the drinks real weak. we can drag those near buzzes out for hours. in fact, tony the FIXER and tony the MIXER could do a knockout job as luchas in the event that the FIXER wants to offer a third job to the REMOTE CONTROLLER

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    1. Good idea. Hire the Buc to do the bar.

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  11. LA County is a one party third world government. Oh, and they're into "process," too.

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  12. I have an idea for that vacant land on N. Canon that is to be the site of our middle school. Instead of floating another bond, I think we should leave the temporary buildings in the parking lot,level the rest of the dirt area and teach all those middle school kids the joys of farming (organic, of course). They can plant and care for crops and raise poultry (yes, they would meet the current chicken code restrictions) and create compost and then sell their products. I bet E. Waldo Ward would even help them learn how to preserve their food products. Really, what useful skills these kids will have for the future! And we save a ton of money that would go to those dishonest (and yes, I'm holding back here) PUSD employees.

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    1. 8:47, did you know that there's been an "unforeseen delay" in the bidding process? Now, the middle school construction will not be starting after the holidays. Does it have anything to go with the PUSD dirty dealings that resulted in the Chief of Facilities taking an unexpected paid vacation??

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    2. Get ready for it. The new 2013 Board of Ed - where we will have no representation - is going to take a lot of that TT bond money away from Sierra Madre. Delay isn't the word for it.

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    3. All the more reason to turn that useless dirt into something worthwhile and get these kids some usable skills in the meantime.

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    4. The TT bond money has been stolen

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    5. Try to act surprised when it's made public.

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    6. I have my shocked face ready just in case.

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    7. Maybe the Green Advisory Committee could supervise "locally grown organic vegetables" at the Sierra Mesa site?

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    8. 1:27, I'm afraid that kind of practical application is outside of the great expertise of the experts on the Green Experts Commission. Task them instead with unlimited hours of speculation about the role of nutrition in the history of humankind, and you're good to go.

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  13. I just tried to view the Planning Commission Agenda for tonight. CAN"T!!! Message says you have to be "logged in" to view documents. This is OUTRAGEOUS!!! Anybody have a clue to what's going on?

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    1. In response to this post: This is just another way of collecting information as to who, when and what you were looking at - Big Brother.

      "I just tried to view the Planning Commission Agenda for tonight. CAN"T!!! Message says you have to be "logged in" to view documents. This is OUTRAGEOUS!!! Anybody have a clue to what's going on?"

      The cities IT network manager and find out who by the IP they are using to connect to the cities server, then reports cvan be generated from there.

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    2. I got on just fine.

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    3. I can access the documents just fine.

      I think that we as Tattler readers need to save our outrage and conspiracy theories for when they are justified.

      The more I read this blog, the less often I'm convinced that conspiracies abound in this town, and the more convinced that we jump to incorrect conclusions and assign evil motives to people far too often. In my experience most people are just misguided or incorrect -- not evil or liars.

      Yes, there are people we disagree with, but that doesn't make them evil, conniving, or misguided. We just disagree with them.

      Does that make me someone asking for "civility"? I guess it does.

      Does that make me evil? Part of a Bart Doyle and Enid Joffe conspiracy to take over the world? Probably not.

      I believe in conspiracies. But not that one.

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    4. Do you have some examples that you might wish to share? Usually when the charges are non-specific like this I assume it's just unicorn gas being vented. Plus you do have to consider that, based on the large readership of this blog, what is said here is enjoyed by many.

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    5. at least area 51 gets a vote. area 6 not so much. the real conspiracies aren't little green men. it's the little green committees....

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    6. Next to the "log in" part, look to the left to access "public site" and you can get the documents thru there.

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    7. A Civil Voice Of ReasonDecember 6, 2012 at 1:39 PM

      I think becoming frustrated with the city's website in no way constitutes uncivil behavior. It is unduly complex and those not familiar with its quirks will feel their blood pressure rising. A sign of quality on-line design is simplicity of use. We paid a lot of money to get this material up on the city's site. We deserved much better.

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    8. 12:27, the "we" is not appropriate.

      Not liars?
      Like Mosca, not lying, or Henderson, not lying?

      You're joking, yeah?

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    9. The most maddening thing about the city website is that any high school kid, no, wait, any middle school kid could have done a better job, and for free.

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    10. I heard that the city employees are going to Hawaii with obama for the next 30 days... at a cost of only 100 Million dollars ...

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  14. Ill bet my years salary Villagarosa was tapping into that Alarcon. I would

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    1. The Mayor have an(other) affair? No way!

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    2. The mayor was just taxing his constituents.

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  15. Be sure to sign your protest letter for the "clean water" bill. Spread the word. Your property taxes will go up an average of $200. Half the property owners in Los Angeles County must sign this. See this site to get the form and pass it to everyone in your email address book that live in Los Angeles County. (commercial and residential)

    http://antonovich.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/LACWCB_Ballona-Creek-Watershed-Notice1.pdf

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  16. It is a known fact that when Villegarosa was younger was a gang hoodlum running amok in the streets of east Los Angeles. I know personally kids I grew up with in the Chavez Ravine that can attest to his illegal activities.

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    1. Guess he figured out the real action was in government.

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  17. Whoa Whoa who's the smokin hot Latina. Id like to party with this one.

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    1. She is absolutely beautiful - and it sounds like she is probably an alcoholic. Be good for her if she cleans up before all those looks get trashed by her own bad habits.

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    2. Alcoholics do not age well.

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    3. Plus if they are public figures they end up getting a lot of really bad press.

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    4. By all accounts, an intelligent young woman with all the education her Dad's contacts could buy......Georgetown if I remember correctly. A shame that she has squandered all of the opportunities made available to her - you know, the opportunities most of our children will never have.

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    5. More like royalty than democratic servants of the people. The ruling elite of our one party county.

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  18. Isn't there a private company we couls hire to run the Pasadena Disunified School District? Just fire all of these idiots and thieves and put it into the hands of businesspeople? How could things be any worse than they are now?

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    1. TB... Great article, better work connecting all the dots. I have a feeling it's the tip 'o the iceberg only... Ugh it makes one dispair.. Is there no end to the corruption? Any other mother be in jail for abandoning their child, good her mum is part of the poe-poe eh? I look forward to the rest of this and the pusd mess to unfold.

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    2. Like watching a train wreck - again.

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  20. 10:41. Must be Bart the Farts blog on; smokin hot puchie, party till your six feet under! It could happen if "you" both don't clean up your messes on your own.

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    1. Some guys crush on unfit mothers. Go figure.

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