Monday, May 27, 2013

We (Finally) Have A Winner!

Way back on May 12th we announced a contest designed to help create an affirmative and planetary needs compliant title for the newly created mash up of the Green Committee (previously renamed I've been told) and the Tree Commission. A ploy designed to bring commission status to a rather unaccomplished committee whose sole purpose is apparently to help force Sacramento central planning standards upon our beautiful and idiosyncratic little city.

All apparently done so some rotters can make a few bucks I suppose. What other reason could there possibly be? It's not like their claim that building a few blocks of densely packed "transit village" condominiums with attached nicknack shops in downtown Sierra Madre is really going to save the world from global warming. It is just a fairy tale the government process types tell to fools. And Lord knows we have plenty of them running around.

But I have digressed into an all too familiar territory for this blog. Here is how we described our contest way back when:

We have only held this contest twice in the nearly 5 year existence of the Sierra Madre Tattler. At this moment I cannot recall the reasons why we did it before, and honestly I am too lazy to go into the pile of 1,400 or so posts back there and find out what it was we thought we were doing.

But that said, today we are once again offering a 30 count box of audio music CDs from my own personal collection of thousands to the person who can come up with the best new name for the soon to be mashed up Tree Commission and Green Advisory Committee. This is your chance to be rewarded for your creative abilities, an opportunity that sadly does not come along as often as it should in adult life.

A slight disclaimer here before I explain the rest of this. The CDs you will receive are of my choice. No way am I going to allow you to come here and take my Art Ensemble of Chicago or Jon Spencer Blues Explosion CDs. Part of the reason I am doing this is because my place has become entirely overrun with these things and I need to move some of them out. But that doesn't mean giving up my favorites.

So what you will receive is a box of CDs that I have personally selected for you. Chances are you have never heard of any of the bands you'll get to listen to if you win this contest. Most of them will be pretty obscure to you. And if you don't like them? As the gentleman from the Republic of Georgia who just fixed my refrigerator might say, "Not my problem."

So yes, we now have a winner. It took me an extra week along with the help of some readers to get it done, but here it is:

Bureaucracy Sustainability Commission

We here at The Tattler are very happy with this name, and would like to commend the poster who brought it to us. This reader has also informed us that this name can be spoken in Acronymic as well (see below), something that true believers in "the process" (think "the force" in second hand clothing) will find helpful. Acronymic being the official second language of the Process Police.

B. S. Commission

Seems like quite a natural thing to say to me. I know that I will certainly have no trouble using it, and often.

The winner, who posted anonymously (The Tattler strongly supports anonymous posting and often finds that those who complain about it are something of a unicorn's arse), should email us immediately so we can get your 30 count box of audio compact discs to you as quickly as possible. A physical address will help us to achieve that goal.

We would also like to point out that if you don't like the music on these CDs, they can be used for Christmas decorations as they are reflective and quite shiny. I have also seen them used to man up the presentation of anemic scarecrows. A recommended usage as well. And they will skip on water if you take them down to a lake or river and throw them properly.

Enjoy the rest of your 3 day weekend. Remember that today is Memorial Day, so don't be an ingrate. Get out and show your appreciation for those who sacrificed so much to keep this not just the land of the free, but also the best country anywhere.

It didn't just happen, you know.


  1. Remember today is the day of remembrance for those who gave "it all" so that democracy can flourish and this contest is a testament to this process.

    Remember there is a secret war taking place, underhanded and shadow government paid (so called) city hall officials are trying to take away your local government and city from you all.

    1. What was won on the battlefield should not be lost here in Sierra Madre. Speak out. You will be surprised at how many people agree with you.

    2. Thanks for posting! Especially this morning: as KUSC was playing John Philip Sousa, we watched all kinds of aircraft fly formation in the skies over Sierra Madre. An amazing sight, as we honor real heroes, and unmask those who are just wrapped in the flag. Lotta birds flapping around these parts! Sometimes you need to put on your trifocals to figure out who's really talking.

    3. Absolutely, trifocals required. Thank 11:03.

    4. This means your plants less to get this type of training overall. When it is known as sensitive, there can be a need for safety measure.

    5. Sloooooow day on the Tatt?

    6. People type too fast. It's hard to keep up.

  2. The winner has now stepped forward and been identified. Congratulations on a job well done!

  3. I have used CDs for skeet practice.

  4. They make good coasters

  5. Don't throw them into a lake. I am also opposed to the Green Embarassment, but give the environment a break anyway.

    1. Ducks love Chuck Berry.

    2. "Given what complicated beasts CDs and DVDs are - products with thin layers of different materials mixed together are nearly impossible to recycle - most municipal recycling program won't accept them. As a result, most discarded discs end up in the trash.

      These difficult-to-recycle materials can pollute groundwater and, in turn, contribute to a whole host of human health problems. But the low cost of producing such top-selling consumer items means that replacing them with something greener is not likely anytime soon."

  6. Outside today, taking care of a lawn that I will soon let die.
    Shame on the city leaders who colluded in our running out of water.
    A moratorium on new water hook-ups should have been put it place a decade ago. Or longer ago than that.
    It is irresponsible leadership that has put us in this position.

    1. Agreed. Plus there would have been the added benefit of our property values jumping. One water hook up, no matter what was built around it, could be worth a lot of money. And we'd have water.

  7. In honor of the naming of the old 'Green Commission Tree Committee', here's an issue that I bet the new "B.S.Co." will help our town understand: Biotech Trees.

    It seems that every two years 'IUFRO' puts on a big conference so engineers and corporations can talk about all the new trees they've been making in their labs. (Sorry, Joyce Kilmer. You've been genetically modified.)

    This year, there was a lot of fuss over a corporation called ArborGen, which has gone to the trouble of engineering eucalyptus trees for the whole Southern 'US'. Now ArborGen is all set to sell millions of these little devils to the 'USDA'. But some Southerners do not like this idea one bit. (For one thing, the new 'GE' trees are highly flammable.)

    "Protestors Arrested at Genetically Engineered Tree Conference"

    Farmer and professor Steve Norris said, “We took dignified action today to directly confront the growing corporate control over our seeds, forests, and communities.

    We are sending a crystal clear message to the GE tree industry and its investors – expect resistance.”

    Here's the whole story, including photos of the protestors. And a special bonus Alphabet Decoder to tell you what all the initials stand for:

    Now, I'm not a scientist, so fools like me might need help deciding if these bio-trees would be good or bad for Sierra Madre. 'BSCo' sure has its work cut out.

  8. B. S. Commission stands for:

    Bilge & Sewer Commission?

  9. One thing that saves water is trees. One thing trees need in correct amounts is water. If a homeowner has a mature establised tree it gives $35,000.00 plus in value to the property (as per a recent Arborist report delivered to the Tree Commission). In the up- coming water reduction of 10% or 20% you are going to have to really understand how to properly deep water your big trees to preserve them and keep your home safe from wildfire (if you live in the Very High Fire Hazard Severity Zone).


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