|Behind every bird is a brain.|
So tonight is a very important City Council meeting in Arcadia. Many have been encouraged to attend and bear witness to these proceedings. And if you look at the Consent Calendar portion of the meeting agenda for this evening, you will see the following somewhat mysterious item.
Now when I saw this I couldn't help but think, "Hmm, I wonder what that is all about?" So I went to the Arcadia Agenda Report portion of their meeting outlay and was treated to the following burning insight.
Gosh, thought I. $70,000, and for Public Relations? And straight out of Covina no less. What is up with that? And who, or what, is 789, Inc? Are they the Rolling Stones of PR? The Death Cab for Cutie of marketing and design? Or just another Twisted Sister?
I know that Arcadia's City Hall is fatted out with a bumper crop of buckage from all the development impact fees reaped from those parvenu starter castles that have made that city the envy of used car dealership and massage parlor owners everywhere. But why do you need so much, honey?
And what exactly do you get for all of that money? Metaphorical plastic surgery that leaves you looking like the Elephant Man after a steady diet of Boone's Farm Apple Wine at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch? Or an Arcadia Realtor?
No, apparently that is not true. Here is the really big news:
Well Boy Howdy to all that, right? Develop the Story, Write the Story, Tell the Story. Or, as Pete Townshend put it when he penned the classic rock opera Tommy: "See me, Feel me, Touch me, Heal me."
Never have so many thrilled to words that mean absolutely nothing. Unless you're on enhancement enablers, of course. Then confusion does become cosmic. Or so I've been told.
Besides, who among us can ever get quite enough of Stakeholder Interviews? Have you ever considered that Dracula could very well have been a stakeholder, too? And like most stakeholders, deservedly so? Just pick up a "branded developmental user-friendly document" and see for yourself.
And then there is finally this:
Oh, and perhaps somebody has felt the need to stem a certain contagion that appears to be slipping in over the border from Sierra Madre? God knows nobody should ever want the likes of that getting around.
So who or what exactly is 789, Inc? I am glad you asked. They do have a website and it is, well, kind of pretentious (link). But only in an arty way. Here is how they describe themselves.
In addition to that "creative misfit" angle they're flogging half to death, they also have a kind of twee faux hipster thing going on as well. You know, like they're zany and freethinking, but also capable of putting together a branding campaign that will make people believe Arcadia McMansions look just like the wickiups in Silver Lake.
And what exactly is a "soul taker?" Are we talking Ghostbusters here? Is somebody attempting to steal our eternal essences with a camera? Usually that is done with a lot of money and an iron-clad contract. Just ask Daniel Webster.
I don't know. Is Arcadia ready for all of this? Can it really be they're going hipster hideaway on us? Isn't there something else besides "community stories" they could be spending that $70,000 on? Is there a dollar per story budget matrix we can look at?
Maybe if they told the good people of Arcadia what kinds of stories they plan on telling first. Hopefully they'll mostly be true ones.