Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Assemblyman Mike Gatto Versus State Senate Candidate Anthony Portantino: The Strangest Blog Fight Ever?

 He seems nice.
OK, so there is a lot of odd stuff to be found on the Internet. That is one of its greatest charms. Even the stuff that is supposed to be serious and informed is often weird. With those who believe in it all perhaps being the weirdest yet.

But I have to tell you, the fight going on between The Burbank Blog (which is believed by some to be the work of CA State Assemblyman Mike Gatto), and the otherworldly Mike Gatto Is A Sweet Dude blog, defies description. This is world class strangeness, friends. And I will be straight with you, I won't even try and make any sense of it. I'm going to lay it all out as best I can and let you deal with it. This is all I can do with the scant material available to those of us who dwell peacefully here on the planet floor.

Oh, and a word of warning. Mike Gatto Is A Sweet Dude is an extraordinarily dirty blog. It is vile beyond belief. Trust me. Ostensibly written by two unabashed (and obviously unhinged) fanboys of the Burbank-Glendale Assemblyman, it either mocks Gatto for possessing attributes such as a supposedly out-of-control sexuality, or celebrates it in often shocking and graphic ways.

The big question here being who is the actual author of this bizarre stuff. More on that in a minute because this is exactly what we're asking today.

The other blog in question is The Burbank Blog. This anonymously written effort is a comparatively mild affair, and the obvious attempt is to discuss the political issues of the cities it covers. As I said, it is thought by some to be the sole effort of Mike Gatto. And apparently the Assemblyman has had more than enough of the faux fan blog that so provocatively talks about him being a "Sweet Dude." In the most salacious ways possible.

Here is what TBB has to say (link). Notice how the suspected author appears to be talking about himself in the third person.

Portantino Sends Out Email Complaining About Portantino WebsiteYou've got to be one sick person to take a play out of the Nazis' playbook. You know, like when they set fire to the German parliament building and then claimed to be the victims, using it as an excuse to seize power.

Local state senate candidate Anthony Portantino sent out a fundraising email today in which he begged for money stating

"and just yesterday there was another internet attack on me, my character and of all things my weight with such vile language that I can’t even repeat it in polite company."

Oh the horror! While one could have a field day with the narcissism of this email, that is not the topic of this post.

You see, when you complain of such an attack you make people curious. So we scoured the Interwebz to locate this alleged attack on Portantino that fit this description in his email -- posted on December 29, made fun of his weight, used filthy language.

Lo and behold only one website in all tarnation fit that description and it's a website run by a Portantino operative.

We're talking about the Mike Gatto Is A Sweet Dude website, which regularly posts vile filth about Assemblymember Gatto adopting the guise and tone of a fanboy site. Get it? The clever folks behind that site think they can fool people by making comments faintly praising of Gatto, while slamming him and using gross language. Such cunning!

This blog has been presented with clear proof that the person behind the Mike Gatto Is A Sweet Dude website is an Anthony Portantino operative. Someone with a very close relationship to him in fact.   

You see, when you do stuff on the interwebz, you leave traces. 

So Portantino operatives created a website to mock Gatto, but subtly, and because they do it from a mock Gatto fan point of view, they had to occasionally joke about Portantino. But were they ever real hits, like talking about his lack of substance or his poor legislative record?  No, they were mostly weight jokes in the midst of filth. 

Get it?  Portantino created a website to slam Mike with disgusting stuff.  Even after Mike bowed out of the race, the website posts more filth, complete with a few comments about Portantino's obvious girth.  Portantino then sends out an email trying to raise money, replete with feigned horror at the "Internet hits" on him, which his operative posted!  

Those responsible for the Reichstag fire would be proud. Are you?

That all sounds pretty wild, right? And would you believe there is a response to all of that stuff on the Mike Gatto Is A Sweet Dude site? You can link to it here, but you might want to read this on The Tattler instead. Where all of the many expletives have been thoughtfully deleted.

THE BURBANK BLOGGER! For years, the Burbank Blogger has chronicled the news of the 43rd district, and much like our esteemed site, had many flattering things to say about Mike Gatto.  Also like our site, they were the target of wild accusations from The Sierra Madre Tattler, the most Gattophobic news site since the days of (deleted) Ron Kaye.

Their specific accusation?  That the Burbank Blog and Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude were secretly authored by Mike Gatto himself.  Obviously, this is total (deleted).  But I can only speak for our site.

Flashforward to last October, when we called Anthony Portantino fat, and he tried to use our blunt honesty in a pathetic plea for more donations to his campaign, despite already having a (deleted) ton of money.

Obviously, that was hilarious.  Less hilarious was the Burbank Blog’s ridiculously hyperbolic reaction, in which they accused Portantino of being a Nazi who spent five years secretly authoring our site, Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude, in order to call himself fat so he could feign outrage in an attempt to raise funds for his already well-funded campaign.

Porkertino’s reaction seems petty and predictable, but the Burbank Blogger’s freak-out overreaction seems genuinely crazy… the kind of crazy that would feel justified in stalking people.

"This blog has been presented with clear proof that the person behind the Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude website is an Anthony Portantino operative.  Someone with a very close relationship to him in fact. You see, when you do stuff on the interwebz, you leave traces."

For some reason — and definitely not because the Burbank Blogger is actually Mike Gatto — the Burbank Blog has been driven to the brink of insanity by a wild conspiracy theory that our site, Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude, is actually a thinly veiled attempt to mock him…

"So Portantino operatives created a website to mock Gatto, but subtly, and because they do it from a mock Gatto fan point of view, they had to occasionally joke about Portantino.  But were they ever real hits, like talking about his lack of substance or his poor legislative record?  No, they were mostly weight jokes in the midst of filth."

If someone wanted to mock us by starting a site called Jarvis Mitchell and Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto) are Sweet Dudes, in which random fans celebrated our sweetness and praised the size of our (deleted) and the softness of our (deleted), we would probably feel like the luckiest dudes in the world.  It’s hard to imagine Mike Gatto could feel any differently.

But regardless of the Burbank Blogger’s true identity, one thing is clear:  he seems to be lost in a paranoid house of mirrors, tortured by the his schizophrenic delusions of Nazi conspiracies.  And that’s just the kind of dude who would set up a fake email address and try to find out where we live.  If he thought we were an Anthony Portantino operative before finding our IP address, I hope learning it has changed his mind.

And the same goes for Portantino, if it turns out he was behind our first stalker.  Either way, one thing is abundantly clear… we need to make an effort to check our email more than once a year.

Both blogs have several more posts in this vein, and the invective and accusations ramp up to some pretty incredible heights. It is an astonishing fight, but read at your own peril. This isn't the kind of politics you'll find showing up in your mailbox around election time in the form of pretty postcards lovingly created by an accountant from Pasadena.

But here is the question I cannot answer for you. Who is the author of the Sweet Dude site? Is it an Anthony Portantino staffer attempting to torment someone who has been a longtime political adversary of his boss?

Or is this all the work of Mike Gatto himself? Done in the hope that by creating a filthy website using his own name and image, someone like myself will rise to the bait and accuse Anthony Portantino of being responsible?

And no, I don't imagine it's Mike Antonovich.

Or is it? Like I said, this is the strangest blog fight ever.


  1. Sacramento is a big frat house.

    1. it's a circus that includes clowns, acrobats,tightrope walkers and jugglers.

      And yes, he needs treatment for his weight:

    2. If you want to start treating people for their food addiction, we need a much higher density of group homes than currently allowed.

    3. I think group homes are not the way to go for that. Gyms would be better.

    4. Gyms are only one part of the equation. You are what you eat.
      They have fitness rooms in these group homes. And people need to get out of their environments that trigger their food cravings. That may actually work.
      But then, it is easier to whine about it than to take some personal responsibility.

  2. Why has the city council chosen to ruin this town and continue oxer spending.

    1. You have to ask why we are so stupid to elect these people.

  3. Both of these candidates have proven that to be a politician you have to be a hooker for the cash and dance tot eh tune of the largest cash doner or doners. They kiss babies at one even then steal the sucker's from them at another, don't donate a nickel and watch them dry up and blow away.

  4. Mike Gatto is a nut. I would never vote for him for any office.

  5. People wonder why California is in the trouble it is. Just look at who we elect to run the state!

  6. Where you can go to donate to the Mike Gatto for Lt. Governor 2018 campaign.

  7. Not Antonovich. He hates writing on the net and generally is the soul of brevity.


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