|The shame of the Rose City|
No sane human being can withstand for long so heavy a diet of such bizarre nonsense and then not want to leap head first off of a bridge. Yes, it's time for everyone to face the truth. We're all Clinton sprintin' to that Trump jump.
However, today's news from the Road Snacks series of appalling regional exposés is nothing if not shocking. Apparently Pasadena, home to the Rose Parade, tedious stack and pack development, plus an exceptionally intense concentration of really annoying boutique shopping emporiums, is also home to a disgracefully large amount of drunken sots. Bibulous bums that any decent citizen would want to avoid at all possible costs.
Personally, I am in no way surprised.
Here is the criteria they used when deciding which cities in California are home to the highest per capita concentrations of drunks (link).
Especially in California, which is right in the middle in the nation in terms of the amount of beer and spirits every year. So someone has to pick up the slack, right? And boy do these cities below.
How do you decide how much a place drinks? By the number of available places to buy booze, and by how often people are talking about drinking, that’s how.
Plus, we thought why not add in a stereotype? Studies have indicated that when one or both partners in a marriage are alcoholics, that couple is three times more likely to divorce.
What drunken criteria did we use?
- Number of bars and pubs per capita
- Number of wineries per capita
- Number of liquor stores per capita
- Each city’s drunk related tweets within the last week
- Each city’s divorce rate
For geo-located tweets, we measured the following raw number of tweets that came from within a city’s general area: #Drunk, #Party, #Beer, #Wine and #Cocktails
Note: For the sake of getting reliable numbers, we counted places within a city’s border, as well as within a short driving distance.
According to Road Snacks, here is their list of the 10 drunkest cities in California.
1 - Santa Monica
2 - Santa Barbara
3 - Napa
4 - Pasadena
5 - Sacramento
6 - Newport Beach
7 - Oakland
8 - Livermore
9 - San Mateo
10 - El Cajon
These are the sorry facts for the city we are concerned about today.
Pretty shocking stuff. But the shame for our little place in this world doesn't end there.
Sierra Madre 311th Dumbest City In California
Apparently the word about voting itself a 67% utility tax hike because the residents here believed a bunch of fraudulent post cards put out by a paunchy accountant from Pasadena has gotten around.
You can read about that one here.